Category Archives: Autobiography

Posts about my life

My Theory About The Afterlife & Our Souls


One of the most discussed questions of all time is ” What happens when we die. Do we go to heaven or just stop existing

And this is what i personally believe to be true. My truth may not be yours, but please do respect it. I am always open to change my thoughts, if i agree with the argument in a rational way.  This article is in no way mean to demean any type of religious and cultural beliefs. I have great respect for the beliefs of others.

First off, lets take a look into a few scientific facts, that i use to rationalize my way of thinking about the afterlife.

1) The law of conservation of energy states : Energy can be neither created nor destroyed, but can change form, for instance chemical energy can be converted to kinetic energy in the explosion of a stick of dynamite.

2) The Construct Of The Brain: The brain constructs what our world looks/feels/smells/sounds and tastes like. Dreaming is a form of seeing and experiencing the world while our eyes are shut. It’s a construct of what the world is without following all the rules of the physical world.

3) Memories & The Soul : Memories are made by the flaring of neurons in the brain to record “clips” of memories, events, information and other concepts of speech, and thought. simply put out brain & body works on electricity ( Energy ). Every single interaction, thought, and concept that we live in our lives are memories forming the person that we are. Memories are who we are, they are what i believe are what we call our souls. 

Death is a very powerful thing, it can be harsh and brutal, or beautiful and meaningful to others. But what happens when we die. Do we go to a place that we call heaven, or a place we call hell. do we become angels or ghost. do we reincarnate of simply decay away in the ground. No one can truly prove the existence of the afterlife, But they can’t prove the absence of it either. Religions each have the specifics of what goes on after we die. But I’m not a religious type of person. I am spiritual by all means, but i do not put my faith in one thing more than the other. I believe in science, and spirituality.

Lets take into consideration the scientific facts i mentioned:

#3 Our memories, events, and life experience are what make our souls. The soul is Energy.

#2 The world as we see it, is a construct of the brain. The brain and body work by energy.

What im saying is that we are beings of energy, our self-awareness and sense of self are produced by the energy, and construct of the mind which in turn form our souls. And this is where #1 comes into play.

#1 Energy can be neither created nor destroyed, energy can only be converted.

Following my reasoning. We are made of energy. Our souls are made up of our memories, which are energy. If energy cannot be destroyed, and only converted. This means that when we die, our energy(soul) is not destroyed but converted into a different type of energy. Which means that we never truly die, we pass onto a different type of existence which i call the afterlife.



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Filed under Articles, Autobiography, philosophy

My First Childhood Memory, age 1 1/2


So today i got a notification from my facebook account for something Anne Rice posted. ( ) And it got me thinking of my very own first memory. Its one that i hold very dearly to my heart.

The first memory that i can remember was that of when i was a year and a half old. I remember opening my eyes and looking around this white room that had Walt Disney wallpaper of Mickey mouse and Miney mouse all around the walls. I remember this beautiful white blanket with pink and blue flowers that my grandmother made for me. I could see an old white changing table that had diapers and baby powder on top. I can still remember the scent of Lilacs in the air. In Ontario lilacs grow like wildfire, and bloom in the early summer, filling the air with its beautiful scent for about a week or two. To this day lilacs are my favorite flower and scent!  I remember that my mother came into the room and sang me a lullaby to get me to sleep.

When i thought about the memory, i wondered if it was a real memory or a recall of a dream. But when i spoke to my mother about it, she told me that the room, and things i was describing where very real, and that it was the first apartment that she moved into after my birth. ( before she was living with my father) It’s amazing that i can remember things from my childhood, and adolescence so vividly and recall small details that are very accurate.

This memory is something i hold very dear to my heart. The reason being is that soon after this memory family problems plagued my life until i was 16, when i decided to live my life away from them for a few years.

What are your most treasured memories, and the earliest ones that you can remember?

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“The Gay LifeStyle”

I actually find it offensive when people refer to orientation as a life style. It grinds me gears to hear people say ” It’s your choice to live that kind of life style” Or ” I don’t condone the gay life style“.

Blah it Makes me want to stuff a sock in their mouths. I do not have a Life Style, i have a life and im living it the way i want to, with no shame or things that hold me back. Most of the time I don’t care what people think of me, but at times it does get to me that humanity has come so far and yet has learned nothing but hate or fear of the unknown.

I feel as though i was born in the wrong century.


Filed under Articles, Autobiography, LGBT History in Canada

My Publications

So I received the documents from the two magazines that published my work.

RDF & PinkInk:


Filed under Autobiography

Publishing Blues?

So ive been working on a book/Novella for a few weeks now. I showed it to a few people and they thought it was great and that I should continue it and find a way to publish it. It’s a book about my life, My mothers drug problems, my father and how he drove me to depression, my coming to terms with being gay and many more events in my life-like my first love. It’s a book about all the amazing and horrible things that ive been through. It’s basically an autobiography and a memoir. I was thinking of calling it ( Memoirs Of A Gay Kid) : Click Here for an extremely unedited snippet of two marking events. I’ve been told for a few years now that I should write this biography and ive started to do so. I really would love to see this published some day!

Finding a publisher is something that isn’t really easy to do. Because the book is about homosexuality and is a teen autobiography it seems to limit the disposition of Publishers available to the genre of the book. Not to mention that it will need to be re-edited a few times to fix up all the grammar and structure mistakes. It almost seems impossible to find one!  Perhaps I should turn it into a magazine article? Blah

Do you guys have any suggestions? I really don’t want to publish through a Vanity publisher. What are the steps i should take to realize this dream?


Filed under Articles, Autobiography, Other

The Fame Monster Painting

The Fame Monster -

I once was inspired by lady gaga to paint this beautiful album cover. The song paparazzi truly had an effect on this piece of art. The lyric “Purple Tear Drops I cry” was so beautiful it compelled me to bring this image to reality. The emotion put into this piece if to great to explain. Its one of sadness, hope, love, passion. It’s truly my greatest work. Lady gaga is a beautiful piece of art and i only hope i transmitted it through this painting.


Filed under Autobiography, Lady Gaga

Story Of How I Stabbed A Pop Can… And Got Stuck

My nails grow incredibly long and are as thick as steel. I do let them grow, since when they are short it hurts my finger tips.

So I’m hanging out with my best friend at the school cafeteria. ( we had a spare ) and i finished my little coke can.

Vanessa ” OMG you so have to try to stab a hole in this pop can with your nails! “
Me Bahaha gurl i wonder if i can?”
And so i stabbed the can with my finger, and got it stuck. I persisted to go to the main office….
me “Do you have scissors??”
Secretary 1yah, but where not giving them out”
MeUmmm (Holds up my finger )…  I got stuck to this can, i need them to cut it open, i dont want to rip off my finger..”
Secretary 1 ” OMG how… what?… Were going to have to send you to the school nurse….”
Secretary 2 comes out and is like ” Wow im not even going to ask about how you got that stuck on there…” and she squeezed the can. almost cutting me. But luckily the can came off and my finger was intacked.
Principal come out ” .Wow, how did you manage that.. I’m not even gonna ask”

and so i leave the room with like 4 people staring at me. wondering why i had a coke can stuck to my finger.

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